When you begin an exercise program, or start a new diet, the focus typically is on weight loss. Along with that focus is the belief that reaching your goal is the key to happiness. OK, maybe it’s not the key to happiness but let’s face it most people believe if they could just lose those extra 20, 30, 40 or 100 pounds, they would be happy. Life would be easier, confidence would be higher, and you’d feel better about who you are.
The key actually is to work on believing in yourself first: Liking who you are right now. After all, whether you lose the weight or not, you are still you.
I am always amazed at how easily we are all able to beat ourselves up for not sticking to a diet or missing a workout. We are so quick to call ourselves failures for not following through with our plans. I am not saying you should not try to follow through or just accept behavior that isn’t helping you. What I am saying is to be kinder to you. Think for a moment about what you say to yourself when you’ve “cheated” or have been “bad”. Is that what you would say to your best friend?
This is a journey you are on not a sprint; it’s not just a few months out of your life. This is all about lifestyle change and that change begins with liking YOU. You deserve to treat yourself well, to respect your body and mind. Here are a few simple exercises you can do to help you on this road to self-love:
Start your day with positive affirmations: This should be personal and meaningful to you.
Celebrate your successes however small. This will help get you in the habit of focusing on accomplishments not failures.
Change your self-talk. If you tend to put yourself down, think about what you would say to your friend and apply it to you.
Remember that everyone has set backs. When and if you do, accept it and move on! Don’t dwell on the negative.
Don’t think of eating healthy as a punishment. This is a reward because you deserve the very best!
Be sure your exercise routines are appropriately challenging. Too hard and you feel like a looser, right? Too easy and you won’t get anywhere.
Hang in there and remember your trainer is always available to assist you in all your health and fitness goals.
Body & Soul Coaching 
Having been a yoyo dieter I came to this conclusion some time ago. I love and accept myself at any weight- fortunately my hubby does too. My reasons to lose weight are just reasons & they don’t impact my view of myself. Inspiring post.
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Thanks Rozbeads! When you start looking at your goals in this light, it makes all the difference in the world.
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I like the tip about changing your self talk. I think that you’re right to say that you wouldn’t treat anyone else the way you do yourself when you’ve missed the mark. Definitely don’t think of healthy eating as punishment! There are glorious healthy foods and dishes that you can make.
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I agree, so many wonderful healthy recipes I hope to be posting some in the near future!
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Great advice from start to finish! I think key to weight loss being effective in the long-term is to work on your identity. Decide what kind or person you want to be and then live up to the expectation.
However rather than decide to be someone that’s not fat or someone that’s thin. Decide to be someone that likes themselves, enjoys the control they have over the lives and accepts that they are the master of their own destiny. You might decide that you are someone who cares about your health and wants to live a long and happy life. That doesn’t mean that if you have a chocolate eclair that your bad. All this can be true despite eating the odd thing that you were told you shouldn’t have.
By changing the way you see yourself, not only will you be happier, but you’ll find that you start acting in ways that honour this new sense of self. In time that will translate to real world change – i.e. fitter, healthier, more energy and loving life.
Good job Lisa.
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Absolutely! Sometimes when we fall into the trap of beating ourselves up if you try to think of how the person you aspire to be would behave and can really turn a situation around from being negative to a learning opportunity or simply allow us to go with the flow!
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I think the key here is learning to love yourself as you are. Society and especially, the media, tell women that we aren’t enough. Once we learn to love ourselves, change will be easier.
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Amen! As we strengthen those inner voices we won’t be as effected by the media and such…
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Thanks for sharing these tips. I worked as a manger of a gym for many years. I saw women struggle with their weight, but even more, with their self-confidence and self-worth. Once we give up hating our bodies, we can focus on bringing about change. I’ve developed a self-talk mantra that I always use when the going gets tough, and I tailor it to the necessary situation. Something along the lines of “I am beautiful, I am strong, I am determined, I am working hard to achieve my goals….” etc.
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I love it Holly. I just may adopt your mantra!!
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Great article! When you embark on something like this, it’s a journey. You make healthy eating a habit. Once it becomes a habit, it no longer feels like punishment.
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Exactly! We are rewarding ourselves, treating ourselves respectfully by eating healthy and moving our bodies!
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Lisa, while so very true… it is easier for me to hit the gym and focus on my lifestyle change (diet) than to enjoy being me, sadly enough. I get what you are saying and well, due to being overweight years ago, living in a horrible marriage and having an average childhood w/o a father present most of the time, that damage is way worse and will take much longer to rectify than losing 20 lbs for the instant gratification. I know… it’s weird and lame, and I get your point…but that, is easier said than done for some. Thank you though! I appreciate you… that part is easy for me! lol
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Kristen, I SO get where you are coming from… we all have baggage, including me, and I have struggled with positive self image/body image quite a bit. I suppose that’s part of what makes me good at what I do: I get it! and sometimes we need to say the words before we believe it to assist with change. Keep hitting the gym and focusing on what works best for you. Thanks so much for your feedback!!
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No one should ever equate weight loss with happiness alone. There is so much more to it as you pointed out. It’s like saying money will buy happiness. Yeah, it helps but only if you balance out everything else in your life. Same goes for weight loss.
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